


Lies, Sex, and no Videotape

by melblue



Category: Glee
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 17:55:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/576033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melblue/pseuds/melblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>wherein Will Schuester is a Fucking Idiot, Sebastian Smythe is Shameless, and Kurt Hummel is Nobody's Fool. So, nothing new really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lies, Sex, and no Videotape

**Author's Note:**

> It's silly porny stuff, but it was fun to write, so I hope you have fun reading it.
> 
> It's inspired by this Klaine gif set (http://ivegoneawayinsidemyhead.tumblr.com/post/18548092076/glee-au-in-which-kurts-life-is-a-teen-movie) by tumblr user ivegoneawayinsidemyhead (http://ivegoneawayinsidemyhead.tumblr.com/) … but I sort of ran off with it and turned it into Kurtbastian. You really should have a look at the gif set so that you have a background for this story, and also because the gif set is hilarious.
> 
> It's a complete au – Sebastian actually attends McKinley in this story and they're all in the same year.
> 
> There's three parts – The Beginning, The Middle, and The Ending – and each part progresses the story from a different person's pov.

* * *

**The Beginning – wherein we learn that William Schuester is the Chair of the Blue Ribbon Panel on Inappropriate Teaching Moments.**

* * *

Will Schuester stood at the photocopier in the teacher's lounge of McKinley High, waiting for his copies to finish and yawned, staring at the wall with a dazed expression.

He knew he was, at best, being a bad teacher and, at worst, probably cheating somehow, by using a history quiz he'd found in one of Emma's magazines to get through his classes that day, but when he'd agreed to help Emma with her OCD issues he hadn't fully realized just how freaking _long_ it would take to polish five pounds of grapes.

And with Sectionals coming up his time was already severely limited. It took a lot of effort to come up with set lists that he would ultimately abandon in favour of some sort of last minute flash of inspiration, and he knew that he was incredibly lucky that his glee club seemed to consist of kids who could pick up new song arrangements and lyrics, and learn new choreography, instantly. But it still meant that he did occasionally get a severe stress headache just thinking of all the performance possibilities.

Like right now, for instance.

Will blinked as the photocopier finally finished and collected his copies. He peered mournfully into his empty coffee cup and dumped it in the sink with a sigh.

This was going to be one of those days; he could feel it.

The bell rang and Will sighed again as he headed to his first class desperately trying to gather his reserves of earnest enthusiasm.

"Okay class," he said, as he bounced through the door, only just managing not to wince at the sound of his own voice. "I have a special treat for you today. We're going to have a nice, _quiet_ lesson doing a _history quiz_!"

He rose to his toes, clapping his hands together in false excitement as the students in his class completely failed to restrain their groans of disgust.

Will frowned. "No, really guys, this is going to be fun, I promise you."

He handed the papers to the front-row students and grinned as they began to pass the tests back to their classmates… and it worked. As the students received their tests they began to smile, some of them even laughed.

"Dude, I am gonna _ace_ this quiz," Noah Puckerman called out and Will pointed at him.

"That's the spirit, Puck," he encouraged, and then beamed around the room as a couple of other students actually giggled.

Perhaps he'd been wrong to think that this would be a bad day, but then he noticed that some of his students looked a little shocked, perhaps even disapproving, and he decided that maybe he'd better dial back the eagerness a bit. Besides, it seemed to make his headache worse.

"Okay, get on with it then," he finally said, and he sank into his desk chair gratefully.

"Um… Mr. Schue… I really don't think…"

It was the polite, dulcet tones of Blaine Anderson that came to Will's ears and he winced. His headache really was getting worse.

"No more talking people," he said, trying to keep the rising testiness out of his voice. "Just fill in the quiz."

Things were fairly quiet after that. As Will worked on his latest ideas for glee club there was the occasional stifled giggle, which Will found both irritating and surprising, but he supposed that he should be grateful that at least some of his students liked the subject he was teaching.

Towards the end of the lesson Will gathered up the test papers and headed back to his desk, propping himself on its edge.

"Well, class," he said. "Let's see how you did. We still have five minutes so I'll just read out some of the answers before the lesson ends."

He glanced up and looked around the room, startled by the sudden extreme silence. It was almost as if his entire class had stopped breathing and Will's frown deepened as he noticed the varying degrees of horror on the faces of his students.

And then he looked down at the papers in his hands.

It was his turn to freeze, with something akin to terror, as he finally realized exactly what he was holding… and he now certainly had an explanation for all the sniggering and scandalous looks he'd noticed in his class earlier. He'd accidentally photocopied the wrong page.

This wasn't the history quiz he'd intended to present to his class.

It was a _sex quiz_.

Will hesitantly cleared his throat. Should he admit the error or go ahead as if nothing had gone amiss? His head still pounded and Will really wanted to get out of his classroom, but when he heard some soft snorts of laughter again, something in his stomach tightened up with stubborn resolve. Hell, he'd go through with it and screw the lot of them.

He looked at the name on the first page – Kurt Hummel – and felt a twinge of relief. He was sure that he could rely on Kurt to have written something fairly safe. He was a student who thoroughly valued his own privacy and he usually didn't reveal much.

"So," he began, after once more clearing his throat. "Um… for the fantasy question, here we have a good answer. _'My biggest fantasy is to give my virginity to Blaine in a dewy meadow with Sting playing in the background'_."

His voice faded as he got to the end of the answer, and oh god he'd _really_ fucked up this time, Will thought with absolute panic, as the class erupted into a chorus of snorts, giggles, and gasps. He could only be thankful that no one could possibly know which student had written that.

The laughter died down when he finally looked up and glanced apologetically around the room but he really only noticed four people.

Blaine Anderson looked shocked and embarrassed.

Kurt Hummel was flushed and looked thoroughly humiliated.

Sam Evans looked amused.

And Sebastian Smythe looked absolutely furious.

 

 

* * *

**The Middle – wherein we learn that Sebastian Smythe has A Lot To Learn but Doesn't Give Up Easily.**

* * *

Sebastian Smythe huffed with impatience as he waited for his best friend, Quinn, to exit the girl's restroom. Her timing was lousy sometimes, she always seemed to need to visit the bathroom just when he most needed to vent, but when he'd tried to tell her off about it she'd merely glared at him and mumbled something about childbirth… and Sebastian had wisely decided to back off.

Through the open door to the teacher's lounge, Sebastian could see Mr. Schue furtively feeding their quiz papers through the paper-shredder, and he sneered with contempt. There was no way Mr. Schue was going to be able to hide what had just happened. It was already buzzing through the hallways and it was only going to be a matter of minutes before it reached the ears of Coach Sylvester.

Although it was a bit of shame that no one would ever find out what had been written on those papers, particularly after Sebastian had gone to great, pornographic detail on every one of the questions. He was fairly certain that only Noah Puckerman would have been able to equal him in sexual eloquence but Sebastian certainly had no interest in reading about Puck's heterosexual adventures.

But, of course, thinking about those answers only brought Sebastian back to the memory of the one answer they _had_ heard, and he practically vibrated with fury. Thankfully, at that moment, Quinn reappeared.

"It's not fucking right," Sebastian practically snarled at her. "Who the fuck would want to lose it to _Blaine Anderson_ when _I'm_ around? I'm the hottest guy in this school."

"Of course you are," Quinn soothed.

"Fucking _Blaine Anderson_ ," Sebastian muttered with a voice full of disgust.

"You know," Quinn said thoughtfully. "I think you're only really angry about this because Blaine got to Sam Evans before you did."

Sebastian gave her a furious glance. "Shut up, Quinn."

Quinn didn't shut up. "You're wasting your energy getting angry about this, you know, because what can you do about it anyway?"

"I can find out who it is and change their mind. And that's exactly what I'm going to do," Sebastian stated firmly.

"And what if it was Sam?" Quinn asked. "You'd never have a chance in hell at breaking them up. They're totally in love."

"It wasn't Sam," Sebastian replied, straining to keep the bitterness out of his voice. "Because they've been fucking for months."

"Right. I'd love to know how you know that." Quinn's voice was thoughtful but a moment later she snorted with amusement. "Ha! There _is_ a possibility that it was a girl who wrote that, you know, and that's hardly your area of expertise."

But Sebastian had stopped in his tracks and was staring ahead with an intent expression. Quinn followed his gaze and saw Kurt Hummel exchanging a heated, whispered conversation with Rachel Berry.

"It's not a _girl_ ," Sebastian said, his voice dripping with disdain. "It's Mr. Perfect and Prissy – Kurt Hummel."

And Quinn started laughing.

* * *

"So, you're really going to go through with this," Quinn stated flatly as they ate their lunch out on the bleachers.

"Yep."

"You're fucking crazy, Seb. I love you, but this is the dumbest thing that you've ever come up with. You've always said that you don't even _like_ Kurt."

"I don't like his _personality_ , Quinn, but when I'm fucking him that's hardly going to matter. Sure, he's a bit of a princess but he's still got a high factor of hotness and he's got a great ass. Besides, deflowering virgins is one of my favourite hobbies."

"Then why haven't you gone after him before?"

Sebastian gave Quinn an incredulous look. "Because he's annoying as fuck, Quinn, and I didn't think it would be worth it. He comes across as so _pure_ that I honestly had started to wonder if he even knew what his junk was for."

And finding out that Kurt Hummel had been having _impure_ thoughts was kind of delicious, Sebastian thought, but there was no way that he was going to tell Quinn that.

"I really think you're going to get in over your head, Seb," Quinn said.

Sebastian laughed. "And you think _I'm_ crazy."

* * *

Sebastian wasted no time. The sooner he got things moving, the sooner he'd get Kurt ticked off his bucket list of sexual conquests, and the sooner he'd re-establish himself as the hottest guy in the school, gay or straight.

Although, he thought, as he settled in behind Kurt at glee club, it wouldn't hurt to actually confirm that Kurt was his correct target.

Before he could make a move though, Coach Bieste poked her head through the door.

"Hey kids," she said. "Mr. Schue's in a meeting with Principal Figgins and he's going to be a little late. He shouldn't be too much longer though, so just talk quietly amongst yourselves until he gets here, okay."

A moment later she was gone, and Puck spoke up. "Do you think he's gettin' roasted for that quiz stunt?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if he was suspended from teaching for a while," Blaine replied. "I mean, what was he thinking?"

There was a note of resentful embarrassment in Blaine's voice and Sebastian couldn't resist.

"You shouldn't be complaining, Anderson," he said. "No shame in being the object of someone's fantasy. At least you know that there's at least one other person in this school who'll sleep with you."

"And, at least I know it's not you, Smythe," Blaine sniped. "Because you certainly don't have any virginity left to lose."

"Yeah, well, neither do you, sunshine," Sebastian replied with a grin. He heard Sam Evans laugh but his eyes were trained on Kurt so he didn't miss the rise of Kurt's shoulders with a slight sigh, or Rachel Berry giving him a sympathetic pat on the hand.

Sebastian waited until the noise level had risen as everyone fell into their own conversations and then he leaned forward.

"So, a dewy meadow, huh?" he whispered into Kurt's ear.

He knew he'd hit the mark when Kurt's shoulders stiffened, but it was the only acknowledgement that Sebastian got.

"You know," Sebastian continued anyway. "I don't think you've actually thought that through very well. Dewy meadows aren't all they're cracked up to be. For one thing, they're wet… and cold. Not pleasant on bare skin when you're trying to get it on. And then there are the insects, not to mention the dirt. And grass can be fucking prickly."

Kurt finally turned his head a little. "I really have no idea what you're going on about," he sort of hissed in an angry whisper, and Sebastian smirked at Kurt's rather attractive profile.

"Well, I know that, babe," he said. "But I could certainly help you out with finding out. Not in a meadow, of course, and absolutely no Sting either, but I have a _very_ comfortable bed."

He didn't get an answer to that because at that moment Mr. Schue walked into the room, without his usual bounce. Practice started and it was pretty clear to Sebastian that Kurt was keeping as far away from him as possible.

He didn't mind. He liked a challenge.

* * *

Sebastian spent most of the night thinking up ways to tap Kurt Hummel's fine ass and kind of getting horny about it. He didn't worry too much about that, after all it was only natural to get a boner when thinking about sex, but he didn't fully realize just how much he'd been looking forward to seeing Kurt again until the next morning when he saw him standing beside his locker with a book in his hand, and Sebastian's dick all but waved hello.

He sidled up to Kurt immediately.

"Hello Kurrrrt," Sebastian practically purred.

"What do you want, Sebastian?" Kurt asked in a bored voice without even looking up from his textbook.

"Hmmm… let me think," Sebastian pondered. "You."

Kurt finally looked up. "Me," he said flatly, still sounding bored, and Sebastian nodded, giving Kurt his most charming smile.

"Get lost, Smythe," Kurt said calmly. He snapped his book shut and walked off.

* * *

So, the direct approach hadn't really worked, but Sebastian had a lot more than that in his arsenal, so he wasn't particularly worried. The only thing that he really drew the line at was serenading, he'd seen too many of Blaine and Sam's vocal seductions, not to mention Puck's, to turn him off that idea for ever. And that was without even factoring in Finn and Rachel, so just no. Not going to happen.

Besides, he was starting to get a very strong feeling that Kurt Hummel wouldn't fall for anything like that anyway. At least… not from Sebastian.

The next time he saw Kurt, his quarry was leaning against a wall obviously trying not to watch yet another of Blaine and Sam's frequent attempts to swallow each other's tongues.

And once again, Sebastian wasted no time.

"Kind of sickening, isn't it?" he whispered into Kurt's ear, and then laughed softly when Kurt jumped.

Kurt turned to look up at him and Sebastian smiled at him sympathetically.

"Of course, not as sickening as Finn and Rachel, but still," Sebastian added, and felt a little thrill of victory when Kurt's lips twitched and his eyes sparked with amusement.

"You know what the saddest thing about it is?" Sebastian asked, and Kurt raised one eyebrow and shook his head.

"They're not even that good at it," Sebastian continued. "I mean, look at them, slobbering all over each other like that. Absolutely no finesse." He leaned closer to Kurt, his eyes fixed on Kurt's soft-looking lips. "Kissing someone isn't just about going deep and messy, you know, it's the barest hint of a caress, a little nip here and there, a tease with just a hint of tongue, a gasp of shared breath and then… then letting go, sinking into it…"

Sebastian let his voice drop low into silence and his gaze drifted over Kurt's face with satisfaction. Kurt was slightly flushed and he was staring at Sebastian, sort of mesmerised, and then he finally gave himself a little shake, swallowed heavily, turned and quickly walked away.

Sebastian was practically breathless with triumph. Progress made.

* * *

After that, Sebastian left Kurt alone for a while. He could feel the way Kurt's gaze now lingered on him during their shared classes, and he could see the hint of confusion in those beautiful eyes. He'd let Kurt wonder about it all for a little bit, and then he'd pounce again. And maybe this time, if he was lucky, he might even get a kiss.

The next day he sat next to Kurt in AP French and told him stories about his visits to Paris. Of course he left out some of his more intimate adventures, but he had Kurt's full attention and that made up for it. Kurt was full of questions about galleries and cafés, and bookshops and theatres, and luckily Sebastian had spent a lot of time in all of them, so it was kind of fun to talk about it and share his opinions.

It wasn't until AP French was over and Sebastian was in his Math class that he fully realized just how much he'd enjoyed talking to Kurt Hummel… and that he was kind of looking forward to doing it again.

He sat next to Kurt again in glee club and delivered a commentary on his theory that Mr. Schue's sweater vests reflected his state of mind (he was wearing a mustard yellow one with flecks of mottled purple through it so it was fairly obvious that he hadn't fully recovered from the sex quiz debacle) and when Kurt laughed, Sebastian considered it time well spent.

* * *

"You're really pushing it with Kurt, aren't you," Quinn said, as they wandered through the mall that afternoon, and if Sebastian was keeping an eye out to see if Kurt was also around, he was keeping quiet about it.

Still, when he finally absorbed Quinn's question, he started a little.

"What are you talking about, Queen Bee?" he asked, with a shit-eating grin, but Quinn wasn't having any of it.

"You and Kurt," she continued. "I told you that you'd get in over your head."

"What the fuck, Quinn," Sebastian snapped, because that was really too much. "I have a plan and I'm following it. That's all there is to it."

"Yeah, right," Quinn said, and Sebastian glared at her. "Keep thinking that. But I like Kurt so if you fuck this up with him you'll be answering to me."

Sebastian was speechless. And that didn't happen very often.

* * *

The next day Sebastian decided to up the ante a bit and ask Kurt out. It was probably too soon, he knew that, but at the very least he'd be giving Kurt a worthwhile indication of where they were headed.

So, he asked Kurt to meet him at the Lima Bean and was kind of floored when Kurt smiled and said 'yes'.

He spent the rest of the day talking to Kurt at every opportunity and avoiding Quinn's pointed looks.

* * *

It wasn't until they were both seated at the Lima Bean and Sebastian noticed the speculative look in Kurt's eyes that he wondered exactly why Kurt had said yes. He wasn't left wondering for long.

"So, what exactly are you up to?" Kurt asked, and Sebastian was a little startled to feel his face heat.

"What do you mean?" he countered, and Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Really? You're really going to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about?" Kurt's voice dropped to a whisper. "Ever since you figured out that it was me who wrote… _that_ … about Blaine, you've been harassing me."

"I have _not_ been harassing you," Sebastian said quickly, totally affronted. "And if that's what you think I've been doing then I can completely understand why you're still a virgin."

Kurt's eyes narrowed. "Oh, so that's what this is about, huh? You want another _virgin_ ticked off your list."

Sebastian fought valiantly against an embarrassed flush. Kurt could be very… unsettling… sometimes. It was one of the reasons he'd stayed away from him in the past.

"No," he said, unable to keep the defensive note out of his voice and Kurt snorted. Well, Sebastian thought, Kurt wasn't going to get away with that. He squared his shoulders and leaned forward a little.

"I just think it's about time you got over your pointless crush on Blaine," he said, firmly, and then smirked when it was Kurt's turn to blush.

"I don't have…" Kurt began, and then he paused and cleared his throat. "I mean, my crush on Blaine is none of _your_ business."

And for some reason that made Sebastian angry.

"Just face it, Kurt," he said impatiently. "You're never going to get Blaine. He's a jock who likes other jocks and, in particular, Sam. Even if you did get him into your 'dewy meadow' you wouldn't be able to hold him there because you wouldn't be enough to…"

Sebastian broke off as Kurt looked up, his eyes wide and full of hurt. He looked breath-takingly beautiful in that moment but as Sebastian's heart constricted he knew that it was a look that he never wanted to see on Kurt's face again.

"I mean, Kurt, I…" he stumbled, but Kurt rose swiftly to his feet.

"Just stay away from me, Sebastian," he said quietly, and then he was gone.

"Fuck," Sebastian whispered, because he knew now that what he'd really meant to say was that Blaine would have been too stupid to realize exactly what he had in Kurt, and that Kurt was more than enough to hold _him_.

* * *

Sebastian went home in a daze. Everything had changed and he couldn't believe how fast it had happened. And to him, of all people.

He had to admit he was dumbfounded and also fairly anxious. It was just his luck to find out that he actually cared for someone just as he'd managed to insult and hurt them… possibly beyond repair.

And fucking Quinn, he thought. She'd warned him but he'd foolishly and arrogantly ignored her and now he was in a mess that he wasn't entirely sure he could get out of. Or how to even try, for that matter.

Of course, he had the option of leaving it and just walking away. Quinn would be furious with him but she'd get over it. The only problem was that whenever Sebastian remembered that look on Kurt's face, the one that he, Sebastian, had put there, he seriously doubted that _he'd_ get over it.

Because, god help him, he wanted Kurt. He wondered if it had always been there, lingering just under the surface of his thoughts about Kurt. Was that what had always made him feel unsettled and sort of off-balance about Kurt Hummel? Because deep down he'd always actually _liked_ him.

It was kind of humiliating to realize how thoroughly stupid and obtuse he'd been about his own feelings but there was no use crying over spilt milk. He wanted Kurt and he'd have to figure out how to get him.

He'd have to start all over again, but this time he'd be completely clear about what he wanted… and hope for the best.

* * *

When Sebastian got to school the next morning his stomach was a tangled mess of nerves and it didn't help that the first person he saw was Quinn.

Quinn took one look at him and smiled smugly. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen," she said.

"And hard," Sebastian agreed, because really, what else could he do? It was no use denying it. "And also, fuck off."

"Rude," Quinn said but she sounded amused and she didn't follow Sebastian into the building.

Sebastian marched through the corridors, ignoring everyone around him, right up to where Kurt was standing at his locker and halted beside him.

"I'm sorry, Kurt," he said. "What I said… I know I hurt you… and the thing is, I really didn't mean it the way it sounded."

"I told you to leave me alone," Kurt said without looking at him.

"I can't," Sebastian said softly. "Because I kind of want to be your boyfriend."

"Kind of?" Kurt finally looked at him and his eyes were wide again. They were just as lovely and this time they weren't full of hurt – they were full of doubt.

Sebastian took a deep breath. "Yes, I want to be your boyfriend. I… um… _like_ you."

Kurt stared at him for a moment and then his eyes narrowed and Sebastian got that sinking feeling that perhaps he hadn't handled the moment as well as he should have. He was sort of getting used to having that feeling around Kurt.

"Okay."

Sebastian's jaw dropped for a split second but he snapped it shut quickly.

"That's it? I mean… we're boyfriends now?" He winced a little because he knew it was a lame thing to say but he was thoroughly bewildered.

"Well," Kurt said thoughtfully, patting Sebastian's chest. "I wouldn't say that just yet. But why don't we go on a date tonight and see how it goes? That's if you're not already busy, of course."

Sebastian slowly shook his head. "I'm not busy," he managed to croak out and Kurt smiled and sauntered off and Sebastian was left wondering what the hell had just happened.

* * *

By the time he picked Kurt up that evening Sebastian had regained his equilibrium but once Kurt was actually sitting in his car, they both seemed to suffer a moment of uncertainty.

Eventually Sebastian cleared his throat. "Um, so what would you like to do?"

"Well, I'm hungry," Kurt replied. "Let's eat."

So, they went to Breadstix and ate, and Sebastian enjoyed it far more than he'd thought he would. Being a Friday night there were a lot of other couples from McKinley High there, and they got a few surprised looks, but Sebastian found he didn't care. If everyone thought that Sebastian Smythe had finally been snagged it was fine with him because Kurt was with him, laughing and talking, and that was all that really mattered.

 _Fuck_ , he had it bad.

Once they'd left Breadstix and were back in Sebastian's car, Sebastian found himself wavering again. He didn't want the night to be over but he had no idea what they should do next. What did people usually do on dates? He figured that they probably didn't go to the local gay bar to scope out the action, and Sebastian kind of wasn't in the mood to do that anyway.

"Um, do you have some sort of curfew?" he finally asked, and Kurt shook his head.

"No," he said, and Sebastian could have sworn that the brief smile on his lips was mischievous but the light was too dim to be really sure. "I'm supposed to be staying the night at Rachel's actually."

"Oh," Sebastian said, and Kurt laughed.

"What about you? Is anyone home at your place?"

And Sebastian shivered because there was a definite purr in Kurt's voice that went right to his dick. Freaking Kurt Hummel, he thought, who would ever have guessed that he could sound so seductive?

"My parents are away for the weekend actually," he said, meeting Kurt's smile with one of his own.

"Let's go then," Kurt whispered, and Sebastian started the car.

* * *

It wasn't until they'd got through the door to his bedroom that Sebastian realized he hadn't even kissed Kurt yet, but before he could do anything about it, Kurt pushed him up against the wall and remedied the situation himself.

And that was kind of hot, Sebastian thought, but not as hot as Kurt's soft lips opening under his, the slide of his tongue, hot and sure, into Sebastian's mouth and the soft moan that came to Sebastian's ears.

He ran his hands down Kurt's sides and tugged his shirt out of his sinfully tight jeans. Underneath the shirt Kurt's skin was smooth like silk, overlaying firm, lean muscle that Sebastian hadn't expected. And he really hoped they were going to get naked because he really wanted to see all of Kurt's body.

A moment later his hopes were answered when Kurt tugged Sebastian's own shirt over his head and latched his warm, wet mouth onto Sebastian's chest. Sebastian dropped his head back against the wall and groaned.

Still, he had to admit he was fairly surprised at how eager Kurt was for this, because Sebastian had definitely expected more nerves. But he supposed that if he'd still been a virgin by the time they got to senior year he'd have been pretty eager to lose it too.

Kurt was licking one of Sebastian's nipples by the time that Sebastian got his brain back into gear, and he turned them swiftly, pressing Kurt into the wall and sliding his shirt (and just when had Kurt unbuttoned his own shirt?) off his shoulders. With a firm hand, he tilted Kurt's face up, briefly caressed his lips and then slid his mouth down to Kurt's long throat.

And Kurt definitely seemed to like that if the way his hips suddenly bucked against Sebastian's was any indication.

"Ah, I think I've found one of your weak spots," Sebastian whispered into Kurt's ear, sliding his hands down over Kurt's fabulous ass and pulling him even closer.

"Yes," Kurt said breathlessly, clutching at Sebastian's shoulders, "and I'm sure you'll find more."

"Definitely," Sebastian agreed. It was time to get to the bed, he decided; so he took Kurt's hand and pulled him across the room and once they got there he sat Kurt down and helped him get out of his jeans.

Kurt's body was pale and perfect and Sebastian found himself wanting to bite that porcelain skin all over, mark Kurt up, but he'd save that for later because he was a little worried about scaring Kurt off if he went too far. So, instead, he pushed Kurt onto his back on the bed and climbed over him.

After that it was the delicious friction of bare skin against bare skin and Kurt's gasping, breathy moans into Sebastian's mouth as he practically devoured Kurt in a hungry, desperate kiss, and it was only Kurt whispering "let me suck you" that broke him out of the blissful dream he was in.

Sebastian pulled back from the mark he'd been making on Kurt's throat and peered down at him, revelling in the way Kurt's eyes were practically black with lust.

"Really? You're sure? We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with, Kurt."

"I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't comfortable with it," Kurt replied, leaning up and pressing a kiss to Sebastian's nose, and that was just embarrassing… well, cute too, but still embarrassing… and for some reason it made Sebastian actually blush.

"Okay then." Sebastian grinned and rolled onto his back because who was he to turn down a freely offered blowjob? He might be smitten but he hadn't completely lost his mind.

He watched Kurt closely as Kurt tugged Sebastian's boxer briefs down and his cock sprang free, fully expecting to finally see some trepidation, but all he could find on Kurt's face was excitement. And once Kurt's mouth slowly slid over Sebastian's straining erection he really couldn't be bothered worrying anymore, the sensation and the sight of Kurt's lips stretched around him was just too distracting.

Fuck, it was like Kurt's mouth was made for sucking cock, and Sebastian kind of wanted to tell him that but he couldn't seem to remember how to form words. All he could do was sort of gasp and moan, his eyes glued to the sight of Kurt Hummel sucking him off, until it just got too much and he tossed his head back onto the pillow with a loud groan.

"You okay?" Kurt whispered, letting him go for a moment and Sebastian groaned again.

"Yeah, fuck yes. Don't stop."

"Where's your lube?" Kurt asked and Sebastian hadn't even really noticed that Kurt had his thumb pressed up against Sebastian's hole - he'd been so lost in it.

He leaned over to the nightstand and fumbled in the top drawer until he found the tube and then tossed it towards Kurt. Then Kurt's mouth was back on him, his tongue sliding on every upstroke and then teasing the tip of Sebastian's cock as he sucked, before he dropped his mouth down again.

Sebastian felt the slick finger at his entrance and spread his legs wide; greedy for every sensation that Kurt could give him. At the first slide of the finger into him Sebastian's hips bucked up, desperate to just fuck into Kurt's mouth, but Kurt's other hand held him firm, with surprising strength.

Fuck it was good, and kind of too much as well. As another finger slid into him, Sebastian could feel the pressure building low in his belly. He wasn't ready to give up on this yet though and he tried to hold on as Kurt's fingers pressed hard inside.

"Oh my god," he breathed. "Yeah, there, right there, babe."

Kurt's long, slender fingers twisted inside him again and Sebastian's balls tightened and he almost saw stars.

"Shit. Fuck. Shit. Wait, wait, Kurt look at me."

Kurt pulled off Sebastian's dick with a fair amount of reluctance and an obscene sucking sound.

"Do you want to fuck me?" Sebastian panted, and his breath caught in his throat when he saw the heat flare up in Kurt's eyes as he nodded.

Sebastian reached over, found a condom in the open drawer of the nightstand, and tossed it to Kurt.

"Then put that on, lube up, and get up here."

Kurt had obviously practiced with condoms because he had no problems obeying Sebastian's suggestion, Sebastian noticed, as he rolled onto his stomach and rose into his favourite position on his hands and knees.

Kurt pressed up behind him, one hand gripping Sebastian's hip.

"Just go slowly," Sebastian told him with a choked off groan, as Kurt breached him, pushing forward slow but sure. The burn was delicious and Sebastian arched his back, ignoring his own warning, and trying to get more quickly until Kurt was fully inside him.

After a few slow thrusts, Kurt settled into a punishing rhythm that made Sebastian's knees tremble and… wow, he thought, Kurt really knows how to use those perfect hips he's got.

He rocked into Sebastian, constantly shifting his angle so that Sebastian was alway on edge, waiting for the next thrust that might hit him exactly where he needed it, and whenever it did, it almost made him fall forward onto the bed, it was so good.

And, fuck, he couldn't believe it but he was pretty sure that Kurt was going to make him beg.

"C'mon Kurt," he finally panted, now shameless but he didn't mind because it was actually kind of hot. "Please… come on."

Kurt gasped, and his fingers tightened on Sebastian's hips, and then, finally, finally, he shifted again and was stroking hard against Sebastian's prostate.

And Sebastian really wasn't going to last much longer, the pressure was building perfectly, but it was a shockingly hot surprise when Kurt suddenly shuddered and pressed hard and deep, stilling as he held Sebastian tight against him. Sebastian groaned and reached down, jerked his cock a few times and spilled into his own hand, making him clench tight around Kurt's dick still inside him, and drawing a sound out of Kurt that made Sebastian groan again.

He dropped down to his elbows, his head resting against his forearms, and struggled to get his breath back. He was tingling all over and he felt fucking amazing and he made a little sound of regret when Kurt finally pulled away.

Kurt slumped on his side beside him, and Sebastian was pretty proud of the dazed look on his face. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Kurt's slack mouth and then collapsed beside him, draping an arm over Kurt's waist.

They lay like that for quite a while before Sebastian finally stirred. He ran a, he had to admit, possessive hand over the satin soft skin of Kurt's ass and grinned.

"Well, I thought we'd be great together but all I can say is I can't wait for the second round."

Kurt looked over at him, a small smile playing on his lips. "So, that was okay?" he whispered.

"Okay?" Sebastian grinned at him. "Babe, you just fucked me into next year. Yeah, it was _okay._ Turns out you're a natural," he added, and was a little surprised when Kurt suddenly blushed and looked a little guilty.

"Um, yeah, about that," Kurt said. "I have a confession to make." 

  
  

* * *

**The Ending – wherein we learn that Kurt Hummel Is Not Above Taking Advantage Of An Opportunity When It Presents Itself.**

* * *

After he'd explained Kurt watched Sebastian (who seemed frozen) with a wary eye and some defensiveness. After all, it wasn't _his_ fault if Sebastian had failed to fully understand that the question had been about _fantasies_ , or that someone could fantasize about giving away their virginity, without actually _being_ a virgin.

"So, you're not a virgin?" Sebastian finally asked in an expressionless voice.

Kurt shook his head nervously.

"You've given a blowjob, topped someone before?"

Kurt nodded nervously.

"Bottomed?" Sebastian asked, with narrowed eyes.

"Yes," Kurt admitted in a soft voice. "I'm sorry that I wasn't exactly honest with you about that. Are you angry or… um… I mean I didn't really _lie_ to you but-"

"Shut up, Kurt," Sebastian interrupted, and Kurt shut up.

Sebastian was silent for a moment after that, gazing at Kurt blankly, and Kurt's heart sank. Yes, he knew that he hadn't really _lied_ to Sebastian but he still couldn't help feeling guilty because he _had_ let Sebastian continue under his misapprehension even after he'd made the surprising confession that he wanted to be Kurt's boyfriend.

And hadn't _that_ taken Kurt's breath away. He'd never in a million years expected that to happen. Just like the way he'd never expected to get completely carried away and end up actually having sex with Sebastian on their first date… but the sight of Sebastian spread out before him, wanting _him_ , Kurt Hummel … well, he'd kind of lost it a bit.

Sebastian was still silent though, and it was rather nerve-wracking, until Sebastian reached over and picked up the lube. He snapped open the lid and coated his fingers whilst Kurt watched him breathlessly.

"I'm not angry," Sebastian finally said. "I'm fine. I really don't care about the virgin thing. First-times are overrated anyway, and I can't blame you for taking advantage of the situation when I was trying to do the same thing." Then he actually grinned. "But you can give me all the details of your sexual escapades later, because right now I'm gonna fuck you. If that's okay with you?"

Kurt's heart rate spiked. He wondered if they should actually talk about this more, but Sebastian's sparkling green eyes held him captive and he was pretty sure that he was about to sort of get lost in him again. They could always talk later, and Kurt was kind of breathless again now anyway.

"That's perfectly fine with me," he agreed, with a soft smile.

"Good. Come over here."

And Kurt went, straight into Sebastian's arms and straight into a surprisingly tender kiss.

It was slower this time, they weren't in such a needy rush, and the kiss they shared was almost luxurious, a glide of lips and tongues that slipped into something deep and intimate. Sebastian's lube slicked fingers curled around Kurt's half-hard dick, fondling him and stroking him back to full hardness, until Kurt was panting into Sebastian's mouth.

Then Sebastian rolled on top of him, settling between Kurt's legs, with both of their erections sliding, slick and hot, through his hand, and Kurt tore his mouth away from Sebastian's, fighting to get his breath back. Sebastian's lips immediately slid down to Kurt's throat, his teeth scraping along Kurt's sensitive skin, and Kurt stretched, trying to give Sebastian as much room as possible. It was true that his neck was a weak spot and he wasn't ashamed to admit it.

He almost groaned with disappointment when Sebastian moved away, his mouth gliding over Kurt's chest with warm, wet suction and the occasional nip of his teeth that made Kurt's hips buck.

"Please…" Kurt whispered, needing more, and Sebastian sat back on his heels and grinned.

"All in good time, babe," he said, and his hands slipped under Kurt's thighs and pushed his legs wide open.

Kurt watched through hooded eyes as Sebastian knelt between his legs, his mouth trailing over Kurt's trembling abdomen. He felt a slick finger press against his opening and sighed, forcing himself to relax as it pressed inside. It was harder than he'd thought it would be, because he was tense with excitement, and the truth was that even though he wasn't a virgin, he was still very aware that Sebastian had a lot more experience than Kurt had.

Sebastian looked up and met his eyes for a moment, and smiled gently, totally surprising Kurt in a way that made his heart skip a beat. After that, it was a lot easier to relax, and he rested his head on the pillow and closed his eyes as he felt Sebastian's lips ghost over his twitching cock and settle on his balls.

He felt the soft, wet suction of Sebastian's mouth and moaned. It was exquisite, even though he sort of wished that Sebastian would go back to Kurt's aching dick, but when Sebastian suddenly moved and bit down with firm but gentle pressure high on the inside of Kurt's thigh, Kurt arched his back and cried out.

"Think I've found another weak spot," Sebastian mumbled, licking over the bite mark.

"Yeah," Kurt gasped, and it was certainly one that he'd never been aware of before.

A moment after that Kurt realized that Sebastian now had three fingers pressing inside him. Those fingers crooked and twisted, Kurt cried out again, and then the fingers were gone. He opened his eyes to see Sebastian rolling on a condom, the tube of lube in his hand, and something in his stomach twisted with excitement.

Then Sebastian was pushing inside, and this was the bit that Kurt absolutely loved, that feeling of slowly being filled, the pressure sliding against his prostate, and his hips rocked against Sebastian's as he moaned loudly in pure pleasure.

Sebastian paused, and looked down at Kurt with surprise.

"Another weak spot," Kurt managed to say. "I have a really sensitive prostate."

Sebastian grinned. "Good for you," he panted, "…and good for me."

Kurt could only agree as Sebastian rocked against him, starting gentle and slow, until building up into a hard, punishing rhythm that made Kurt writhe on the mattress. His hands gripped Sebastian's broad shoulders tightly and eventually Sebastian dropped down and slipped his arms underneath Kurt, his mouth finding Kurt's in a hard kiss.

The change in angle was wonderful for Kurt and he wrapped his legs around Sebastian's hips, and his arms around Sebastian's back and held on for dear life. The bed was rocking with the force of their movements, Sebastian was panting in Kurt's ear with an occasional incoherent mumble, and Kurt felt like he never wanted it to end, as each stroke of Sebastian's cock inside him made him shiver and moan.

But it finally started to get too much. Kurt felt almost desperate for release and he tried to slip a hand between them.

"Please… Sebastian…" he moaned, but Sebastian ignored him, except that he suddenly seemed to press his body even harder down onto Kurt. The friction of his stomach against Kurt's erection was amazing and it made Kurt come with a choked-off cry.

Kurt was almost boneless as Sebastian continued to pound into him for a few more moments, but he did manage to turn his head and run his mouth over Sebastian's throat until he reached his ear.

"Yeah, fuck me…" he whispered, his legs tightening around Sebastian when Sebastian groaned. "Come on…"

Sebastian groaned again, a desperate sound that made Kurt's stomach swoop, and then with one last, hard, deep thrust, he came, his hips pressing tight against Kurt's ass.

It was another few moments where they panted against each other, before Sebastian finally moved, disposed of the condom, and then sank down beside Kurt draping an arm over Kurt's messy stomach.

Kurt still felt boneless and he figured that Sebastian was in pretty much the same state when he turned his head and they both smiled at each other.

"I'm really glad that you can stay the night," Sebastian said. "I'm exhausted right now, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to want to fuck you again before the morning."

Kurt's smile widened and he rolled onto his side and pressed himself against Sebastian's chest, stupidly happy when Sebastian's arms tightened around him.

Still, there was the matter of what they'd talked about earlier.

Kurt took a deep breath. "So, you're really okay about the whole I didn't tell you I wasn't a virgin thing?" he asked.

Sebastian made a soft, huffing noise that sounded like he was trying not to laugh.

"I told you. It doesn't make any difference to me or how I… um… well… how I feel about you."

Kurt looked up, slightly startled, and he caught the quick flash of embarrassment in Sebastian's eyes. For some reason it made him blush.

"Well," he said, after clearing his throat. "For the record, I like you too."

Sebastian grinned, his momentary discomfort obviously forgotten. "Of course you do, babe," he said. "After all, I'm totally hot. And we're fantastic together, so as long as you're done fantasizing about Blaine Anderson, we're cool.

Kurt ducked his head and trailed a finger over Sebastian's chest.

"Oh, I'm completely over him," Kurt whispered, with a secret smile, because, again, it wasn't his fault that Sebastian had never even considered the idea that Kurt hadn't actually been telling the truth when he'd written Blaine's name on that page.

Kurt wasn't stupid, and he'd figured if Mr. Schue had finally completely cracked up, in the way that Kurt had always thought he would, and that the quiz was for real, then he was never, ever going to put the real name that he fantasized about on that paper. He'd only picked Blaine because Blaine had been directly in his line of vision.

And it also wasn't his fault that Sebastian had never figured out that Kurt had been crushing on him for months.

One day, when they were more settled in this new relationship, he'd probably tell Sebastian, Kurt thought, but for now, he decided, Sebastian's ego was already big enough… and what he didn't know wouldn't hurt either of them.

 

**The End.**

 

 


End file.
